


Ear Worm

by MaurLin



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, I dunno which, I hope, Inspired by Music, Music, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 13:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21253892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaurLin/pseuds/MaurLin
Summary: The monster shouldn't have been a problem for Ladybug and Cat Noir...Inspired by a song written and performed by Sheb Wooley.





	Ear Worm

**Author's Note:**

> Characters owned by ZAG and Thomas Astruc.
> 
> Song owned by Dotson-wooley Entertainment

The monster shouldn’t have been able to fly- but it could.

It shouldn’t have been able to swallow people whole- but it could.

It certainly shouldn’t have been able to flummox Paris’ superheroes- but it could do that, too. Mostly because it was too silly to exist.

“What in the world?!?” yelled Ladybug. And no one could’ve blamed her- the thing was almost cartoon-like in appearance. Long iridescent grape-colored fur over a rotund body and tiny little bat wings, one dewy golden eye over a mouthful of blunted teeth, and a single long red horn over the eye. It had long, gorilla-like arms and short, squatty legs; it grinned and drooled almost constantly.

The creature had started at the KidsPlus studio, gobbling one executive and the musician Mr. XY. Since then, it had moved through the city, always heading towards the river- and swallowing random people along the way.

The only good news was that the people it swallowed were- somehow- just fine. Although they  _ were _ grossed out by the drool- Ladybug and Cat Noir could both hear the shouts of disgust from inside the belly of the beast. But the thing was terrorizing the banks of the Seine, chasing anyone who caught its eye- and there was no telling who it was attracted to until it suddenly moved.

And it was moving towards Juleka’s houseboat, apparently drawn by the music Kitty Section was practicing. Ladybug  really hoped she could figure out what was up with this thing before it got to her friends.

Suddenly the creature made a break to the side, picking up a man on the riverbank who hadn’t moved fast enough. The monster hovered midair, grinning as it lifted the man over its mouth, preparing to drop him in.

“Not so fast!” shouted Ladybug. She snagged the man with her yoyo as he dropped, pulling him over to the roof of the building she was standing on. The creature roared, and began to head her way. “Get him out of here!” she called to Cat Noir.

Cat Noir smiled as he picked the man up. “Let’s get you safe. Nice shirt, by the way.”

“Uhh…thanks?” the young man said, looking down at his violet t-shirt with the Jagged Stone logo. He then gave an ear-piercing shriek as Cat Noir leaped off the building, heading away from the river.

The beast hovered in front of Ladybug, and she kept one eye on it while trying to figure out where the akuma could be. Strangely, it didn’t seem all that interested in her; it looked at her, but made no move to try and eat her, or even grab her. Its drool puddled on the tiles as the thing stared at the roof in disappointment.

Ladybug shook her head. There didn’t seem to be anything an akuma could be attached to. And the creature didn’t want her; it only wanted the man in the violet shirt, which was totally unlike anyone Hawkmoth had akumatized before. “Why won’t you try to eat me?” she wondered under her breath, and was shocked when the monster answered in a rhythmic, squeaky voice.

_ “i wouldn’t eat you ‘cause you’re so tough…” _

“What?” Ladybug said, startled. Cat Noir, who had just returned from depositing his charge a safe distance away, groaned.

“Oh, no…” he said, smacking his forehead. “It can’t be…”

The creature, distracted by the music Ladybug could still hear on the river, began to fly clumsily away. Ladybug lassoed it with her yoyo, but found it hard to hold the monster still. “What??!?” she yelled at Cat Noir.

“Stupid American music…” he muttered. “That thing’s a people eater.”

“Obviously,” Ladybug panted, straining to hold it back.

Cat Noir rolled his eyes at her, annoyed. “No, it’s a Purple People Eater- like the song.” He grimaced. “One eye, check. One horn, check. Flies, check. And it’s eating purple people- or at least anyone dressed in purple.”

Ladybug had never heard of this song, and really didn’t want to right now. “Great. So you know what it is. How do we  _ stop _ it??”

She never heard Cat Noir’s answer, as the monster gave an almighty tug and lurched forward in the sky, dragging Ladybug behind it. She dangled beneath it on her yoyo string as it flew towards the music again.

She looked at the houseboat. Mylene was watching the band’s practice; she was always there to support Ivan. Ladybug knew how loud Kitty Section was; there was no chance they could hear her or anything else.

The People-Eater landed on the bank near the houseboat’s mooring. Ladybug freed her yoyo and ran toward the boat, waving to try and get Mylene’s attention. Mylene could warn everyone in the band, who had their backs to the bank.

Her eye fell on one particular band member- the one with purple hair and leggings.  _ Juleka! _

Sure enough, the creature saw Juleka too. It reached out a hairy paw toward the oblivious girl; Mylene finally saw the movement, screamed and pointed, which got all the band members’ attention. The music came to a discordant stop.

Juleka turned and saw the paw coming; she threw herself to the side, barely escaping the grasping fingers. Ladybug yelled to Luka and Rose. “Get Juleka out of here! This thing’s attracted to purple!”

To Ladybug’s relief, they didn’t hesitate. Luka grabbed his sister around the waist and bodily hauled her to the houseboat stairs, while Rose cleared the path. All three of them disappeared into the boat, with Ivan and Mylene following at a run.

The People-Eater looked confused, as if it couldn’t focus on prey it couldn’t see. It turned its head from side to side, cocking its head as if to figure out where the music had gone. Drool dripped from its mouth onto the boat and into the Seine.

Cat Noir caught up to Ladybug. “According to the song, the monster just wants to play in a rock band, and it uses the horn to do it. Maybe the akuma’s there.”

“Awesome.” Ladybug dropped her face into her hand. “Look, see if you can get Luka or Ivan to come back up and get the music going again. The longer we keep it here, the more time we have to figure out what to do- and the fewer people it will eat.”

Cat Noir nodded, and leaped to the roof of the houseboat. He tumbled over the roof and down into the doorway.

Ladybug was at the end of her patience- which wasn’t that far of a trip today. She spun her yoyo into the sky and shouted, “Lucky Charm!” A black-spotted red saxophone dropped into her hand.

She sighed, frustrated. It wasn’t as if  _ she _ knew how to play the thing. Looking around for some idea how to use the charm, she saw Luka and Ivan glow as they exited the stairs, along with their instruments on the deck; a quick look at the monster had it glowing too, and finally Cat Noir as he came back to her.

“Okay- Luka, Ivan, get ready for your new band member!” She turned to the monster and held up the sax. “Wanna play?”

The creature grinned hugely, letting a cascade of drool fall to the deck.  _ “i wanna get a job in a rock’n’roll band,” _ it said in that annoyingly squeaky voice.

Ladybug forced a grin. “Well, here you go!” She tossed the saxophone to the monster as Luka and Ivan started to play again. The People Eater began to play the sax-

-And it was  _ good,  _ laying down a complex melody that Ivan and Luka matched. As the three unlikely players kept it up, Ladybug grabbed Cat Noir’s elbow. “Use your Cataclysm on the horn while he’s distracted.”

Cat Noir slumped, disappointed. “After the song?” he pleaded.

Ladybug gave him the stink-eye. He sighed, ears drooping. “Fine. Cataclysm!”

As the monster began a final wail on the sax, Cat Noir leaped and touched his hand to the horn above the eye. It crumbled to dust, and a black butterfly fluttered out.

The creature finished its song, and fell onto its back at a final riff by Ivan.  _ “te-kee-lah…” _

Ladybug spun her yoyo and caught the akuma; as she released the now-white butterfly, the crazy beast dissolved, leaving a dozen people standing on the houseboat deck coated in drool. She didn’t waste a moment in grabbing the sax and tossing it with a “Miraculous Ladybug!”

The puddles of drool vanished as the magic passed, as did most of the purple people- presumably returned to wherever they had been before the monster snacked on them. One remained- a young man, maybe Luka’s age, with an instrument case. The Cataclysm dust swirled with the magic ladybugs and became a saxophone, lying in front of the teenager.

The young man looked at Ladybug. “I just wanted to play, but that record producer said no one listens to saxophones anymore- it’s all electronic music.”

“Well, he’s wrong. Look over there.” Cat Noir pointed to the bank, where dozens of people were watching and clapping. “Everyone there was listening to you.”

Luka came over. “You can jam with us anytime.”

Ladybug heard her earrings beep; Cat Noir’s ring followed a few seconds later. “Looks like you might not need that producer. Bug out!” She slung her yoyo across the river to a building, and swung away.

But the melody ran over and over in her head for hours…

**Author's Note:**

> I love music- almost all music. My playlist is so all over the place that to assign a genre is impossible, which makes the shuffle setting fun.
> 
> But I do love me some story-songs. (DON'T get me started on the missing verse of 'Scarborough Fair', which almost EVERY version leaves out, but makes the song MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE-)
> 
> Ahem. Where was I?
> 
> Anyway, I was on full shuffle mode while writing another story, and 'Purple People Eater' came on. And I stopped. And listened. And I couldn't get it out of my head (it's a classic ear worm song). 
> 
> And I hope it's stuck in your head now, too (patented evil giggle).
> 
> Please comment/ rant below. And kudos make me happy. Thank you!


End file.
